Rejected

A stranger stood at the gates of Hell,
And the Devil himself had answered the bell,
He looked him over from head to toe
And said, "My friend, I'd like to know
What have you done in the line of sin
To entitle you to come within?
Franklin D. with his usual guile
Stepped forth and flashed his toothy smile
"When I took charge in thirty-three
A nation's faith was mine," said he
"I promised this and I promised that
And I calmed them down with a fireside chat.
I spent their money on fishing trips
And fished from the decks of their battleships
I gave them jobs on the P.W.A.
Then raised their taxes and took it away.
I raised their wages and closed their shops
I killed their pigs and burned their crops.
I double-crossed both old and young
And still the fools my praises sung.
I brought back beer and what do you think?
I taxed it so high they couldn't drink.
I furnished money with Government loans
When they missed a payment, I took their homes,
When I wanted to punish the folks, you know,
I'd put my wife on the radio.
I paid them to let their farms lie still
And imported foodstuffs from Brazil
I curtailed crops when I felt real mean
And Shipped in corn from the Argentine.
When they'd start to worry, stew and fret
I'd get them to chanting the alphabet
With the A.A.A. and the N.L.B.
The P.W.A. and the C.C.C.
With these many units I got their goats
And still I crammed it down their throats
My workers worked with the speed of snails
While the taxpayers chewed their fingernails
When the organizers needed dough,
I closed the plant for the C.I.O.
I ruined jobs and I ruined health
And I put the screws on the Rich Man's wealth
And some who couldn't stand the gaff,
Would call on me and how I'd laugh
When they got too strong on certain things,
I'd pack and head for old Warm Springs,
I ruined their country, their homes and then,
I placed the blame on "Nine Old Men"
How, Franklin talked both long and loud
And the Devil stood and his head he bowed
At last he said, "Let's make it clear,
You'll have to move, you can't stay here.
For once you mingle with this mob,
I'll have to hunt myself a job.

-Anonymous